anxious ambition used to rule my life.

Baby Shar

One of the most common things I hear from founders when I suggest therapy is, “I’m worried it’ll make me soft.” What they’re really saying is, “I’m worried it’ll take away my edge.”

Because many of us know exactly where our ambition comes from. We know it’s fuelled by something unresolved: a difficult childhood, an absent parent, financial insecurity, bullying, rejection, the desperate need to prove ourselves. We worry that if we heal those wounds, we’ll lose the very thing that made us successful in the first place.

I understand that fear because I had it too. But now, in case it isn't clear, I'm extraordinarily happy.

I feel content. I am surrounded by my family on a regular basis and people who love me. I have my dream job and I'm doing some of the best work of my life. While I'm not mega rich, I have enough money to care for myself and for those around me. I never feel lonely. I have the right balance of being surrounded by people and being alone. I'm dating the way that I want to. I feel like my time is very much my own. I know how to care for myself when I'm feeling Imbalanced. I look probably the best I've ever looked, even though I'm not under any strict diets or workout plans like I would have been in my 20s. I have a great relationship with my son and with my son's father, and I love my home. Honestly, I've got no complaints.

The paperback version of my book is out now, featuring two brand new essays! Order here!

Which is incredibly strange because I feel like I've spent the first 40 years of my life using my chronic low-level dissatisfaction and unhappiness as a means of motivation. It was the thing that drove me. It was where my ambition took root.

So how does one stay motivated when life is perfectly chill?

Today's newsletter is going to be about how I shifted from a state of anxious ambition to a state of abundant ambition. Let's get into it

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Five years ago, in the middle of a pandemic, I started The Stack World. What began as a pivot became a mission. I felt there was a generation of women building businesses, changing careers, raising capital, creating culture and reinventing themselves who simply weren’t being reflected in mainstream media.